We’ve been to see every Twilight movie since we stumbled upon the first one winter’s evening and spent almost the entire movie laughing at how unironically bad it was. The vampires who seemed to be made of wood (sparkly wood though!), the uncomfortably creepy stalker-ish behaviour of Edward and a guest appearance by Dr. Acula. This film could never hope to reach those dizzy heights but we went in hoping for some fun and laughs and were only slightly disspointed.
I can’t say I was entirely suprised, but the film seemed incredibly badly edited. At one point Bella is screaming at Jacob to get out of her life and then poof, he is asleep on the couch and Bella is smiling. The vampire-clan deck out a cottage for Edward and Bella before telling them they have to move to escape the freaky Italian vampire people. There are other things happening too but they were so unmemorable I can’t remember any of the middle of the film. Something about witnesses to the freaky child from the last film, it all got to the point where I was wondering could I fall asleep (as I did with The Dark Knight Rises) and hope noone would notice.
Suddenly! There was some sort of battle in the snow, lots of heads being pulled off and laughs aplenty. Werwolves eating vampires and vampires punching werewolves. Then! it turns out it was all a vision – the groans around the cinema were funnier than anything else in the film. There was an ending too, but I didn’t pay enough attention through all the soppy music
Film : ** Enjoyment ***